You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
