Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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