Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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