Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
you never un-have a 4some
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
