How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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