So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
