Sry I called you an 8
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
a search helicopter?!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
