We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Drake has all the answers
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
