wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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