She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
