I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
