Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
