I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
