she woke up with a sticky ear
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize