wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Green mimosas i think yes
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
