I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
