Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
