I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
