dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
