TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
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My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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