not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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