ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
