Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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