Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
