I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Terrible idea I love it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
