New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
