Im at strip club and am horny
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
