i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
