Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
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Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
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Let's celebrate that I used a condom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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