Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
