His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
