I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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