Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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