I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize