I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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