so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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