Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
