He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
either way he was missing a nipple.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
