sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
