a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
