Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
