yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
