ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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