Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Drake has all the answers
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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