i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
