saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
