I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
