Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
false alarm, still single
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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