Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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