wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
