Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
