so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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