Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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