Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
