I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
