Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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