I accidentally burped into my bong.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
