That's intense
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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