I hope mine doesn't look like that
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
