Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
