she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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