Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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