New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
