Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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